Three in ten adults in the US have used a dating app or site, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey. Most of their dates are fine. But among women under 50 who had dated online, 56% had been sent sexually explicit messages or images they didn't ask for, 43% had been contacted again after saying they weren't interested, and 11% had been threatened with physical harm. Among women who have used dating apps, 41% said they aren't a safe way to meet people, compared with 23% of men.
That's the background to the advice dating apps and police give before a first date: meet somewhere public, get yourself there and home, and tell someone where you'll be.
Where the usual advice stops
Bumble's safety guide puts the last point well: tell someone close to you "when and where, and that you'll contact them within a certain amount of time." Tinder built a feature around it in 2024. Share My Date sends a friend a link with the match's name, the meeting place, the date and the time. Tinder said 51% of singles under 30 already tell their friends the details before a date.
Both of these share the plan, and first dates don't always follow it. The coffee turns into a drink somewhere else, the drink turns into a walk, or one of you suggests a second place across town. Each change is normal and usually a good sign. But the friend holding the plan now knows where you were at 7pm and nothing after that.
Live location fills that gap. If your friend can see your dot, it doesn't matter that the evening moved. They can see where you are now, and you don't need to message them every time you change venue, which is awkward to do in front of someone you've just met.
Setting it up
Share with one person, not a group chat. Pick the friend who'll actually be awake and will pick up the phone, and tell them roughly what time you expect to be home.
Give the sharing an end. With OnTime, you create a Radar with an end time, say 10am the next morning, and send it to that one friend. They join too, so you'll see their dot as well, which is handy if they end up being the one who comes to get you. When the time is up, sharing stops on its own, so your friend doesn't keep seeing where you are on the days after, and you don't have to remember to turn anything off. If the date goes well and runs late, the end time already covers it. If you get home early, you can leave the Radar yourself.
Agree on two things in advance:
- A check-in time. For example, "if I haven't messaged by 11, call me." Your friend then has a reason to look at the map at 11 and no reason to watch it all evening.
- A way to ask for help without saying so. A phrase you'd text that means "call me with an excuse" or "come and get me". Something harmless that won't look odd if your date sees the screen.
Your friend's job is small. Glance at the map at the check-in time. If you're somewhere expected, or you've sent a message, that's it. If you've gone quiet and your dot is at an address that wasn't part of the plan, they ring you. If you don't answer and it doesn't feel right, they can call the police and tell them exactly where your phone is, which is much more useful than "they went on a date somewhere in town".
What it doesn't do
Your location doesn't tell your friend whether you're fine. A dot in a restaurant looks the same whether the date is going brilliantly or badly. That's why the check-in time matters more than the map, and why the map is there for when the check-in doesn't happen.
It also only works while your phone is with you and switched on. If your date takes you somewhere you won't check your phone for a while, a quick text to your friend before you go in saves them a worried call.
And it's for you to offer, not for anyone to ask for. A friend who uses the map to comment on where you went, rather than to check you got home, isn't the right person to send it to next time.